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Always caring for kids,
Maureen Amberg
http://MEAOnlineEdge.blogspot.com
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Kids Edge
I am the one in blue turtleneck
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
You Can't Spoil a Child through Love
Though we all worry about spoiling our child, rest assured that you cannot spoil your child with love. Love doesn't spoil children. Love is imperative to a child's healthy development, and it's just not possible to love your child too much. They need caring adults to spend time with them, play with them, teach them, protect them, and enjoy life with them.
It's a parent's job to provide love, safety and encouragement. The process of growing up provides children with lots of challenges. Try to listen openly and understand their situation and communicate honestly with them when they have difficulties and letdowns in their life.
Set appropriate limits with your child and then adhere to them. Establishing limits with your child gives them a sense of safety and security. Sometimes parents do not set limits because they don't want to fight with their children. They don't want to cause bad feelings. They may beg a child to comply. Or they may make a rule and fail to enforce it. They may nag without ever enforcing the rules. None of these helps children. When your child fails to adhere or comply with the boundaries you've set for them, be firm yet kind in your response. This lets them know that you're serious about the rule but dedicated to helping and loving them. Bear in mind though that each child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. For example, one child may respond well to the direct approach of telling them a specific time to be home, where another child may need a gentle reminder that it's now time to come home.
Develop a firm but kind manner of making and enforcing your household's rules and expectations. There's no need to fear our children, and there should be no need to instill a sense of fear in our children in order to get them to comply.
Always caring about kids,
Maureen Amberg
http://KidsSelfConfidence.com
It's a parent's job to provide love, safety and encouragement. The process of growing up provides children with lots of challenges. Try to listen openly and understand their situation and communicate honestly with them when they have difficulties and letdowns in their life.
Set appropriate limits with your child and then adhere to them. Establishing limits with your child gives them a sense of safety and security. Sometimes parents do not set limits because they don't want to fight with their children. They don't want to cause bad feelings. They may beg a child to comply. Or they may make a rule and fail to enforce it. They may nag without ever enforcing the rules. None of these helps children. When your child fails to adhere or comply with the boundaries you've set for them, be firm yet kind in your response. This lets them know that you're serious about the rule but dedicated to helping and loving them. Bear in mind though that each child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. For example, one child may respond well to the direct approach of telling them a specific time to be home, where another child may need a gentle reminder that it's now time to come home.
Develop a firm but kind manner of making and enforcing your household's rules and expectations. There's no need to fear our children, and there should be no need to instill a sense of fear in our children in order to get them to comply.
Always caring about kids,
Maureen Amberg
http://KidsSelfConfidence.com
Raising Teenagers to Be Confident in Themselves
The person who made the statement that our childhood years are the carefree years in our life, obviously does not remember the difficulties that went along with being a teenager. During this time of transition from childhood to adulthood, there are many different issues that need to be dealt with and the unfortunate thing is, many teenagers are left to themselves to act as a self guide during these times. Many parents allow this to happen, thinking that they are taking the easy way out but they end up making it more difficult on everybody involved.
There are many different issues that your child is going to be facing during the time that they are a teenager. Some of these issues you may be privy to, but others you may have no idea are occurring. Being introduced to the possibility of drugs, smoking, sex, alcohol and inappropriate behavior are all things that each and every teenager has to deal with, sometimes on a daily basis. When you are able to understand this, you will stand a much better chance of being able to guide your child properly.
One of the issues that many parents face when trying to help their teenagers is that a teenager does not always want to discuss personal issues with you. It is important for you to build a good rapport with your teenage child but to still give them the privacy, within boundaries, that they deserve and desire. It can be difficult for you to be able to successfully do this, as it will take perseverance in order for it to take hold. Once you start to break down the barriers, however, you would be surprised with how much influence you are able to give your teenager and how much self-confidence they will gain as a result.
Always caring for kids,
Maureen
http://TeenagersSelfEsteem.com
There are many different issues that your child is going to be facing during the time that they are a teenager. Some of these issues you may be privy to, but others you may have no idea are occurring. Being introduced to the possibility of drugs, smoking, sex, alcohol and inappropriate behavior are all things that each and every teenager has to deal with, sometimes on a daily basis. When you are able to understand this, you will stand a much better chance of being able to guide your child properly.
One of the issues that many parents face when trying to help their teenagers is that a teenager does not always want to discuss personal issues with you. It is important for you to build a good rapport with your teenage child but to still give them the privacy, within boundaries, that they deserve and desire. It can be difficult for you to be able to successfully do this, as it will take perseverance in order for it to take hold. Once you start to break down the barriers, however, you would be surprised with how much influence you are able to give your teenager and how much self-confidence they will gain as a result.
Always caring for kids,
Maureen
http://TeenagersSelfEsteem.com
If You Must Split Up Do It Right!!
Do you realize how very traumatic and difficult it is for your kids when you break up.? At least DO IT RIGHT. Check the following site to give both Male and Females the Best Information out there. Help your kids get through this!
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Always caring for kids,
Maureen Amberg
http://www.TeenagersSelfEsteem.com
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Always caring for kids,
Maureen Amberg
http://www.TeenagersSelfEsteem.com
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Remembering The Children When Divorce Is Imminent
Remembering the Children When Divorce Is Imminent
None of us enter into a marriage with the thought that it may someday end in divorce, but there are occasions whenever this does occur. Although it is difficult enough on the individuals that are married, it is also equally or more difficult on the children that may be involved in the union as well.
The unfortunate thing is, many parents will actually play the children in order to gain an advantage over the other parent during the divorce. This can lead to a lot of hurt feelings, a lack of self-confidence and even severe abandonment issues in the children. It is especially during this difficult time that your child needs you to be the adult and to leave them out of the difficulties that you may be experiencing. Although this can be difficult, it most certainly is not impossible. You may even find that cooperation between you and the other person involved in the divorce may make things easier on the two of you as well.
It may take time, and things may not always go exactly as planned but if you continue to work with your children during this time, everybody involved can come out of the situation without too many lasting scars. If you are unaware of how you should approach this time in your life, there are support groups and professionals that you can speak to who would certainly be able to guide you in this regard.
By looking after your children during the time of divorce, you may actually find that you end up with a better relationship
None of us enter into a marriage with the thought that it may someday end in divorce, but there are occasions whenever this does occur. Although it is difficult enough on the individuals that are married, it is also equally or more difficult on the children that may be involved in the union as well.
The unfortunate thing is, many parents will actually play the children in order to gain an advantage over the other parent during the divorce. This can lead to a lot of hurt feelings, a lack of self-confidence and even severe abandonment issues in the children. It is especially during this difficult time that your child needs you to be the adult and to leave them out of the difficulties that you may be experiencing. Although this can be difficult, it most certainly is not impossible. You may even find that cooperation between you and the other person involved in the divorce may make things easier on the two of you as well.
It may take time, and things may not always go exactly as planned but if you continue to work with your children during this time, everybody involved can come out of the situation without too many lasting scars. If you are unaware of how you should approach this time in your life, there are support groups and professionals that you can speak to who would certainly be able to guide you in this regard.
By looking after your children during the time of divorce, you may actually find that you end up with a better relationship
Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers. Caring for Kids is my current life focus. I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate. Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.
Boosting aChild's Confidence through Sports
We live in a day and age where it can be difficult for a child to have the self-confidence that is needed in order to truly succeed in life. There are a number of different avenues to explore whenever you see your child heading down this road, and sports may be something that can give them just what they need.
The first thing that you should do is to sit with your child and to determine if any sports may interest them more than others. Perhaps your child is not interested in sports at all, but they may be interested in the activities that go along with the sports, provided they are guided in the right direction. You can then go about trying to match up the interests of the child with any sports activities that may be available at the school that they are attending. There may also be other sports arrangements that are available for children through local organizations as well. You can generally find a listing of these organizations through your local Chamber of Commerce, who would be able to further advise you on these matters.
It is important for you to support your child in these activities, and to make sure that you are present at the games, as well as taking part in any of the adult activities that may be taking place. Many sports have various activities that would give you this opportunity, such as bake sales, fund drives and perhaps even road trips. The more active you are in their interests, the more that they will see that you are supporting them and that you are there for them when needed. This will help to boost their confidence in themselves and will also help to weave them into the activity even further, which will give them even more direction.
The first thing that you should do is to sit with your child and to determine if any sports may interest them more than others. Perhaps your child is not interested in sports at all, but they may be interested in the activities that go along with the sports, provided they are guided in the right direction. You can then go about trying to match up the interests of the child with any sports activities that may be available at the school that they are attending. There may also be other sports arrangements that are available for children through local organizations as well. You can generally find a listing of these organizations through your local Chamber of Commerce, who would be able to further advise you on these matters.
It is important for you to support your child in these activities, and to make sure that you are present at the games, as well as taking part in any of the adult activities that may be taking place. Many sports have various activities that would give you this opportunity, such as bake sales, fund drives and perhaps even road trips. The more active you are in their interests, the more that they will see that you are supporting them and that you are there for them when needed. This will help to boost their confidence in themselves and will also help to weave them into the activity even further, which will give them even more direction.
Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers. Caring for Kids is my current life focus. I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate. Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.
The Women Men Never Want to Leave
When it Comes to Men, Some Women Have It...and You Can Too!
by Bob Grant, L.P.C. author of �The Woman Men Adore�
Every day in my counseling office, I hear women say some variation of this:
�In the last few years, I have had relationships with men who, at first, seemed perfect for me. They were attentive, attractive and fun to be around. Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying. They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped the romantic dance that couples do when they are falling in love. Was it me? After all, I think I�m attractive, have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape. So why then, do I always end up with the men who become �couch potatoes� at my house? The men who would rather bring a six pack over and watch football all day and then expect me to fix dinner? Do I suddenly turn into just a �buddy� to them, the girl next door?
I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the �hot� men. I don�t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, �court� them. What secrets do they know that I don�t, because they certainly aren�t sharing them?�
Most women think a wonderful relationship is simply about finding the right man. The truth is that those women who have wonderful relationships didn�t necessarily know where to find good men, instead they attracted them. Would you like to learn how to attract and keep a wonderful man? The best way to find out probably isn�t by talking to a woman; instead, a man would be able to give you the secrets to a man�s heart.
I�d like to share with you the secrets that men find irresistible and powerless to resist. The dirty little secret is that having a perfect body isn�t nearly as important as you have been led to believe. You can discover this incredible information by simply (mimimomo---->>>) clicking here.
http://fe2cb8njl9r82p3gy-fd6veudx.hop.clickbank.net/Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers. Caring for Kids is my current life focus. I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate. Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Raising Teenagers to Be Confident in Themselves
Raising Teenagers to Be Confident in Themselves
The person who made the statement that our childhood years are the carefree years in our life, obviously does not remember the difficulties that went along with being a teenager. During this time of transition from childhood to adulthood, there are many different issues that need to be dealt with and the unfortunate thing is, many teenagers are left to themselves to act as a self guide during these times.
There are many different issues that your child is going to be facing during the time that they are a teenager. Some of these issues you may be privy to, but others you may have no idea are occurring. Being introduced to the possibility of drugs, smoking, sex, alcohol and inappropriate behavior are all things that each and every teenager has to deal with, sometimes on a daily basis. When you are able to understand this, you will stand a much better chance of being able to guide your child properly.
One of the issues that many parents face when trying to help their teenagers is that a teenager does not always want to discuss personal issues. It is important for you to build a rapport with your teenage child but to still give them the privacy, within boundaries, that they deserve. It can be difficult for you to be able to successfully do this, as it will take perseverance in order for it to take hold. Once you start to break down the barriers, however, you would be surprised with how much influence you are able to give your teenager and how much self-confidence they will gain as a result.
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The person who made the statement that our childhood years are the carefree years in our life, obviously does not remember the difficulties that went along with being a teenager. During this time of transition from childhood to adulthood, there are many different issues that need to be dealt with and the unfortunate thing is, many teenagers are left to themselves to act as a self guide during these times.
There are many different issues that your child is going to be facing during the time that they are a teenager. Some of these issues you may be privy to, but others you may have no idea are occurring. Being introduced to the possibility of drugs, smoking, sex, alcohol and inappropriate behavior are all things that each and every teenager has to deal with, sometimes on a daily basis. When you are able to understand this, you will stand a much better chance of being able to guide your child properly.
One of the issues that many parents face when trying to help their teenagers is that a teenager does not always want to discuss personal issues. It is important for you to build a rapport with your teenage child but to still give them the privacy, within boundaries, that they deserve. It can be difficult for you to be able to successfully do this, as it will take perseverance in order for it to take hold. Once you start to break down the barriers, however, you would be surprised with how much influence you are able to give your teenager and how much self-confidence they will gain as a result.
Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers. Caring for Kids is my current life focus. I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate. Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.
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Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Must You Sacrifice For Your Children To Become Self Sufficient Successful Adults?
| http://KidsSelfConfidence.com Sacrifice. Is that a word that immediately makes you think that you must give up some time, energy, luxuries, peace, relaxation, opportunities, calm and perfect surroundings, self-control, SLEEP, wealth, your choice of TV shows and music, adventures, comfort, contentment, favorite sports, ego, friendships, ways of doing things? Well, in a word, yes. And many more activities and things that you have come to enjoy and feel is your "right" in this life. Babies, toddlers, children of all ages, and teenagers, need a LOT of YOU. However, there are benefits to being a parent. Have you considered the following? Joy, increased feelings of warmth and kindness, laughter, satisfaction, tolerance, LOVE, different adventures, kids faith in YOU...because they adore and trust you...watching your kid in amazement at their imagination and energy. Well, of course, the list goes on and on. You have to be a parent to realize the absolute motivation you will gain with wanting to sacrifice anything for your children. In your eyes, they will become perfect and more talented and intelligent than any other kid you have ever encountered. Certainly, your friends do not have such an awesome kid. Sacrifice is just that. Giving up of your self for the benefit of another. But the gratification can be absolutely immense! You will become totally unselfish...immersed in the raising of your children to become the people that you know will make this universe a better world. It is a fact that kids are one-third of our population and all of our future. All that is required of you is that you adore your spouse and your kids equally. The children want a unified family unit, that they can be a positive participant in. Humor and faithfulness are key ingredients. Be there for them! There is excellent information out there for you to learn to be a good parent for your children to emulate...with a positive attitude, that you will teach them. Maximize your opportunity for success with sacrifice and being firm, fair and consistent. |
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Maureen Amberg is an author,entrepreneur and children's advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and self confidence of children. http://KidsEdgeOnSelfEsteem.com http://KidsSelfConfidence.com http://TeenagersSelfEsteem.com Distributed by http://www.ContentCrooner.com |
Monday, February 15, 2010
Finding Jobs For Teens
http://KidsEdgeOnSelfEsteem.com
As a newbie in the working world, you may find things a bit overwhelming. It is natural to get the jitters since you are treading unfamiliar territory. And although you are just a teenager, some things are expected of you. Your boss, client or employer can be your friend but ultimately, they are your superior. Needless to say, they have to be satisfied with your work or your service if you intend to keep a job long term or looking forward to get a reference. You have to create a positive impression. It does not end in the interview. You have to be professional during the period of your tenure. Although most jobs for teens are fairly simple and light in work load, it doe not give you an excuse to lag behind. Being an employee, you are considered an asset. You have to do your best not to become a liability.
Responsibility is a heavy word for teens to carry. But this is the main point of getting a job. It will teach you to be responsible, learn thing such as time management, teamwork and interpersonal or communication skills. Hence, jobs for teens are not only a source of cash flow but can earn you an invaluable experience that you can carry on in your future life as an adult. So, the first step is to understand the seriousness and the weight of responsibility a job entails. You need to be fully committed and dedicated. And when it comes to looking for a job, you have a lot of option, more than you think actually. The typical jobs offered and open to teenager like yourself are dog walking, baby sitting, store or boutique helper, house cleaning, car washing, etc.
You can seek job openings at a local merchant, a mall store, a small office, a public library, a fast food chain or restaurant, hotel and resort, amusement park, grocery store, etc. You will find the lit of job available for teens varied and can range for menial labor to more professional one such as an office job as an administrative assistant. Before the search, you should at least evaluate your qualification for the job you are applying or enlisting for. In taking a job, you should also consider your interests.
You are more likely to be motivated at a job you like. For example, if you are into photography or aspiring to become a photographer, you may want to look for a job in this area. Becoming a photographer's assistant is a good start. Find the motivation to do your job with the utmost professionalism. Do the job not just for the sake of money but for the more valuable knowledge and experience you will learn from it. Do not lose your enthusiasm. Although the job may be serious, do not let go of your fun side. Treat the jobs for teens as an adventure, a road to maturity, a rite of passage and a source of cash flow.
As a newbie in the working world, you may find things a bit overwhelming. It is natural to get the jitters since you are treading unfamiliar territory. And although you are just a teenager, some things are expected of you. Your boss, client or employer can be your friend but ultimately, they are your superior. Needless to say, they have to be satisfied with your work or your service if you intend to keep a job long term or looking forward to get a reference. You have to create a positive impression. It does not end in the interview. You have to be professional during the period of your tenure. Although most jobs for teens are fairly simple and light in work load, it doe not give you an excuse to lag behind. Being an employee, you are considered an asset. You have to do your best not to become a liability.
Responsibility is a heavy word for teens to carry. But this is the main point of getting a job. It will teach you to be responsible, learn thing such as time management, teamwork and interpersonal or communication skills. Hence, jobs for teens are not only a source of cash flow but can earn you an invaluable experience that you can carry on in your future life as an adult. So, the first step is to understand the seriousness and the weight of responsibility a job entails. You need to be fully committed and dedicated. And when it comes to looking for a job, you have a lot of option, more than you think actually. The typical jobs offered and open to teenager like yourself are dog walking, baby sitting, store or boutique helper, house cleaning, car washing, etc.
You can seek job openings at a local merchant, a mall store, a small office, a public library, a fast food chain or restaurant, hotel and resort, amusement park, grocery store, etc. You will find the lit of job available for teens varied and can range for menial labor to more professional one such as an office job as an administrative assistant. Before the search, you should at least evaluate your qualification for the job you are applying or enlisting for. In taking a job, you should also consider your interests.
You are more likely to be motivated at a job you like. For example, if you are into photography or aspiring to become a photographer, you may want to look for a job in this area. Becoming a photographer's assistant is a good start. Find the motivation to do your job with the utmost professionalism. Do the job not just for the sake of money but for the more valuable knowledge and experience you will learn from it. Do not lose your enthusiasm. Although the job may be serious, do not let go of your fun side. Treat the jobs for teens as an adventure, a road to maturity, a rite of passage and a source of cash flow.
Author of cheap flights to Fiji and how to get rid of bed bugs Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Adam_D_Curry Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers. Caring for Kids is my current life focus. I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate. Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful. |
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Kids Can Have Panic Attacks Too!
There is phobia that is linked to the experience of panic attacks‚ and that is agoraphobia. An agoraphobia is the fear of open spaces or of being in crowded‚ public places such as shopping markets. It is a fear associated with leaving a safe zone‚ such as the home.
Because of a feeling of being vulnerable‚ people who experience this fear often suffer from panic attacks in these “open” situations. It is true to say many people who have regular panic attacks experience different degrees of agoraphobia. Some have a lingering background anxiety about being away from home should they experience a panic attack. Other people are so immobilized by this fear that they find it very difficult to leave their home for even a short period.
The thinking behind agoraphobia usually follows the line that were a panic attack to occur‚ who would look after the person‚ how would he or she get the assistance and reassurance they needed? The vulnerability grows from the feeling that once victims of agoraphobia are caught in the anxiety‚ they are suddenly unable to look after themselves and are therefore at the mercy of the place they find themselves in and the strangers around them. In its extreme form‚ agoraphobia and panic attacks can lead to a situation where people become housebound for numerous years. Please note‚ this is by no means a hopeless situation‚ and I always need to reinforce the fact that something only becomes hopeless once the person really believes that to be the case.
Agoraphobia and Panic Attacks
To begin with‚ the primary issue that needs to be addressed is the belief in the safe zone. To clarify‚ when I talk about safe zone‚ I am referring to the zone where the person believes panic attacks do not occur‚ or at least occur infrequently. As comfort is found there‚ it is where the person tends to spend more and more time. The safe zone of anxiety is a myth sustained by the mind. The mind has developed a habit of thinking that dictates that being inside the safe zone is the only place to feel secure and avoid agoraphobia and panic attacks.
If agoraphobia is an issue for you‚ watch as your mind comes up with reasons why it believes only a certain area is safe and another is not. Those reasons range from being near the phone or people you trust to having familiar physical surroundings to reassure you.
The reality of anxiety is that there is no such thing as a safe zone. There is nothing life threatening about a panic attack‚ and therefore sitting at home is the same as sitting under the stars on a desert island. Of course‚ your mind will immediately rush to tell you that a desert island is a ridiculous place to be as there are no hospitals‚ no tranquillizers‚ no doctors‚ NO SAFETY.
You need to review your previous experiences of panic attacks. Aren’t you still here‚ alive and well‚ after all those attacks during which you were convinced you were going to die?
It may be that on occasions you have been driven to the hospital where they did medicate you to calm you down‚ but do you really believe that you would not have survived were it not for the drugs? You would have. If the same bout of anxiety had occurred on this desert island‚ it too would have passed‚ even if you were all alone. Yes‚ when it comes to conditions that need medical attention such as asthma‚ diabetes‚ and a whole litany or other conditions‚ then having medical aid nearby is a big asset‚ but no doctor in the world would tell someone with anxiety that there are only specific safe zones in which she or he can move.
As I know more than anyone how terrifying it can feel to move out of your safe zone as the feeling of fear is welling up inside‚ I do not wish to sound harsh. This course is not about chastising people for their behaviors. It is a way of looking together at solutions and seeing through the myths that form prison walls. The goal is to enable you to return to a richer and more meaningful life and ultimately defeat your agoraphobia and panic attacks. I also realize that people around you cannot understand why a trip to shops would cause you such discomfort. You will have to forgive them and try not to be upset by their lack of understanding of your problem.
If an individual such as a partner or family member has not had a similar anxiety issue‚ that person may often find it hard to understand and empathize with what you are going through. I am sure you have been dragged out of the house numerous times against your will‚ kicking and screaming. This can then lead to tensions and arguments and is upsetting as it can make you feel less understood by those around you. People around agoraphobics are often simply trying what they feel is best. If you can see that their intentions are well meaning (although often misguided)‚ then you will be able to relate to them better and help sooth any potential conflicts.
There is one thing I am sure you will agree with‚ and that is that the only person who will get you out of agoraphobic thinking is yourself. These are your thoughts‚ and only you can begin to change that pattern. Dealing with long term agoraphobia and panic attacks is a slow process to begin with‚ but once the results start happening‚ it moves faster and faster until you reach a point where you will find it hard to believe that going out was such a difficult task.
I hope you have found this agoraphobia and panic attacks page helpful in some way
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Maureen Amberg
http://MeaOnLineEdge.blogspot.com
Because of a feeling of being vulnerable‚ people who experience this fear often suffer from panic attacks in these “open” situations. It is true to say many people who have regular panic attacks experience different degrees of agoraphobia. Some have a lingering background anxiety about being away from home should they experience a panic attack. Other people are so immobilized by this fear that they find it very difficult to leave their home for even a short period.
The thinking behind agoraphobia usually follows the line that were a panic attack to occur‚ who would look after the person‚ how would he or she get the assistance and reassurance they needed? The vulnerability grows from the feeling that once victims of agoraphobia are caught in the anxiety‚ they are suddenly unable to look after themselves and are therefore at the mercy of the place they find themselves in and the strangers around them. In its extreme form‚ agoraphobia and panic attacks can lead to a situation where people become housebound for numerous years. Please note‚ this is by no means a hopeless situation‚ and I always need to reinforce the fact that something only becomes hopeless once the person really believes that to be the case.
Agoraphobia and Panic Attacks
To begin with‚ the primary issue that needs to be addressed is the belief in the safe zone. To clarify‚ when I talk about safe zone‚ I am referring to the zone where the person believes panic attacks do not occur‚ or at least occur infrequently. As comfort is found there‚ it is where the person tends to spend more and more time. The safe zone of anxiety is a myth sustained by the mind. The mind has developed a habit of thinking that dictates that being inside the safe zone is the only place to feel secure and avoid agoraphobia and panic attacks.
If agoraphobia is an issue for you‚ watch as your mind comes up with reasons why it believes only a certain area is safe and another is not. Those reasons range from being near the phone or people you trust to having familiar physical surroundings to reassure you.
The reality of anxiety is that there is no such thing as a safe zone. There is nothing life threatening about a panic attack‚ and therefore sitting at home is the same as sitting under the stars on a desert island. Of course‚ your mind will immediately rush to tell you that a desert island is a ridiculous place to be as there are no hospitals‚ no tranquillizers‚ no doctors‚ NO SAFETY.
You need to review your previous experiences of panic attacks. Aren’t you still here‚ alive and well‚ after all those attacks during which you were convinced you were going to die?
It may be that on occasions you have been driven to the hospital where they did medicate you to calm you down‚ but do you really believe that you would not have survived were it not for the drugs? You would have. If the same bout of anxiety had occurred on this desert island‚ it too would have passed‚ even if you were all alone. Yes‚ when it comes to conditions that need medical attention such as asthma‚ diabetes‚ and a whole litany or other conditions‚ then having medical aid nearby is a big asset‚ but no doctor in the world would tell someone with anxiety that there are only specific safe zones in which she or he can move.
As I know more than anyone how terrifying it can feel to move out of your safe zone as the feeling of fear is welling up inside‚ I do not wish to sound harsh. This course is not about chastising people for their behaviors. It is a way of looking together at solutions and seeing through the myths that form prison walls. The goal is to enable you to return to a richer and more meaningful life and ultimately defeat your agoraphobia and panic attacks. I also realize that people around you cannot understand why a trip to shops would cause you such discomfort. You will have to forgive them and try not to be upset by their lack of understanding of your problem.
If an individual such as a partner or family member has not had a similar anxiety issue‚ that person may often find it hard to understand and empathize with what you are going through. I am sure you have been dragged out of the house numerous times against your will‚ kicking and screaming. This can then lead to tensions and arguments and is upsetting as it can make you feel less understood by those around you. People around agoraphobics are often simply trying what they feel is best. If you can see that their intentions are well meaning (although often misguided)‚ then you will be able to relate to them better and help sooth any potential conflicts.
There is one thing I am sure you will agree with‚ and that is that the only person who will get you out of agoraphobic thinking is yourself. These are your thoughts‚ and only you can begin to change that pattern. Dealing with long term agoraphobia and panic attacks is a slow process to begin with‚ but once the results start happening‚ it moves faster and faster until you reach a point where you will find it hard to believe that going out was such a difficult task.
I hope you have found this agoraphobia and panic attacks page helpful in some way
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Maureen Amberg
http://MeaOnLineEdge.blogspot.com
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Just Say No
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If you say, "No, you may not have any more candy," and they reach back into the bowl, make sure that your child knows this is unacceptable. Don't change your mind just because the candy is already in their hand.
Are you aware that children can actually become addicted to sugar? And their personality can be affected by it?
I will discuss this in depth in a future article.
Caring for Kids!
Maureen Amberg
Click Here!
LOTS OF FREE INFORMATION!
.
If you say, "No, you may not have any more candy," and they reach back into the bowl, make sure that your child knows this is unacceptable. Don't change your mind just because the candy is already in their hand.
Are you aware that children can actually become addicted to sugar? And their personality can be affected by it?
I will discuss this in depth in a future article.
Caring for Kids!
Maureen Amberg
Click Here!
LOTS OF FREE INFORMATION!
.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wait 'til you See This!
http://d.yimg.com/kq/groups/4174583/1049609212/name/MUSICBOXDANCERS%2Ewmv
THIS IS MY GIFT FOR YOU ~ PLEASE ENJOY!
Always caring for kids,
Maureen Amberg
http://MEAOnlineEdge.blogspot.com
Panic Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder
The main feature of GAD is excessive and pervasive worry. PD also causes excessive and pervasive worry. So, what's the difference between PD and GAD? The difference may be best understood by looking at the focus of the worry. With PD, the focus of excessive worry is usually about having another panic attack. The focus of worry in GAD generally surrounds many usual life circumstances. For example, excessive worry about finances, job issues, children, and other everyday life events is associated with GAD. Both are classified as "anxiety disorders" and may occur together.
Click Here!
Click Here!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Should Kids be left out of the Divorce Decision?
How do your kids feel about your divorce? Do they see it as a good thing for the family? Do they blame themselves for what went wrong? The answers to these questions depend on the kids and the situation.
A child who has been exposed to a lot of arguments and violence may be happy to see the abusive parent leave. She may love the abuser, and worry about him after he's gone, but not being awakened in the middle of the night to screaming, and not being hit for no reason is a good thing. Kids don't like pain and stress anymore than the next guy.
A child whose parents are "unhappy" or "bored" with each other may not be as content or relieved to see the family dissolve. Adult "unhappiness" is a concept most kids can't grasp. Sure, they do know what it means to be discontent. Teachers and other kids make them feel that way all the time. However, a long term disappointment felt by an adult for adult reasons is simply beyond the child's experience.
The question is whether kids feel guilty, or like they did something wrong when Mom and Dad split up. Some kids might, because of the way their parents handle the break up. However, absent a parent's intervention, why would a child feel like they did something wrong when the parents split up anymore than he / she feels bad when the car breaks down or the TV goes on the blink? A self respecting, normal child will avoid accepting responsibility for things he does do wrong, let alone blame himself for some abstract adult event.
Children may not feel guilty about their parents split, so much as they feel helpless. They aren't consulted, or even warned that a divorce is coming many times. Strangers in the form of judges and lawyers are suddenly deciding things for them that Mom and Dad used to control. The kids don't necessarily meet these people. Instead, they have to accept how some abstract, faceless adults arbitrarily force them to live their lives. Decisions are handed down to them by people whose existence they haven't even varified with their own eyes a lot of the time.
Rarely are children allowed to express their feelings about the situation. When they are asked, certain answers are expected, and rather than take the chance of being wrong, they are inclined to say what they sense the adult wants to hear. After all, their teachers have trained them to believe there are wrong or right answers, and the last thing a kid wants to do is attract disapproval, especially since punishment often follows. Adults consider kids too young to have a valid opinion of what foods are good for them, let alone where they would be better off. Thus, they have no input in a scarey situation, not because they don't have feelings, but because they have no safe place to express them.
It wouldn't be good to leave custody decisions up to children. Their choices would too often be coerced by circumstances. The parent who gives the most gifts may seem like the one who loves more at the time the decision is made, no matter the parent's true history with the child.
There are also many other ways to wrongly influence a child. Kids assume adults know a lot more than they do. The adult who is recognized as an authority, such as a parent or teacher would certainly have credibility in a child's world. It is too easy for a parent to manipulate what the child says for her statements to be a reliable indicator of her needs.
Parents often take advantage of the child's trust by focusing on what that parent believes is the other parent's shortcomings. The result is that the child joins in blaming the other parent just so he'll feel protected and approved of by someone. The truth or the exaggeration of the reporting parent's observations are not something a child can readily understand. Again, it is a kid's inexperience with the world and its ways that hamper his ability to see through a grown-up person's motives for lying, stretching the truth, or even seeing a given situation in an unfair or unbalanced way.
Children need to have a forum to air their views in a divorce. What they say may not be deep, or even useful, but it may help them adjust to the inevitable changes they are about to experience. They need to know that someone hears their concerns, and will listen to what they have to say. They need to feel safe asking the kind of questions that may make parents feel stupid, or uncomfortable. They are entitled to honest, age appropriate answers, too.
No child should have control over the family's fortunes. Kids just don't have the experience to decide whether it is in Mom and Dad's best interest to stay together, or to understand the many decisions about their welfare that must be made in a divorce. However, even though they can't row the boat, they should have life jackets, and should be taught how to swim so that they are not drowned in their family's disfunctions.
http://d3b639yjpf37-y4524046c-55h.hop.clickbank.net/ You need this information!
A child who has been exposed to a lot of arguments and violence may be happy to see the abusive parent leave. She may love the abuser, and worry about him after he's gone, but not being awakened in the middle of the night to screaming, and not being hit for no reason is a good thing. Kids don't like pain and stress anymore than the next guy.
A child whose parents are "unhappy" or "bored" with each other may not be as content or relieved to see the family dissolve. Adult "unhappiness" is a concept most kids can't grasp. Sure, they do know what it means to be discontent. Teachers and other kids make them feel that way all the time. However, a long term disappointment felt by an adult for adult reasons is simply beyond the child's experience.
The question is whether kids feel guilty, or like they did something wrong when Mom and Dad split up. Some kids might, because of the way their parents handle the break up. However, absent a parent's intervention, why would a child feel like they did something wrong when the parents split up anymore than he / she feels bad when the car breaks down or the TV goes on the blink? A self respecting, normal child will avoid accepting responsibility for things he does do wrong, let alone blame himself for some abstract adult event.
Children may not feel guilty about their parents split, so much as they feel helpless. They aren't consulted, or even warned that a divorce is coming many times. Strangers in the form of judges and lawyers are suddenly deciding things for them that Mom and Dad used to control. The kids don't necessarily meet these people. Instead, they have to accept how some abstract, faceless adults arbitrarily force them to live their lives. Decisions are handed down to them by people whose existence they haven't even varified with their own eyes a lot of the time.
Rarely are children allowed to express their feelings about the situation. When they are asked, certain answers are expected, and rather than take the chance of being wrong, they are inclined to say what they sense the adult wants to hear. After all, their teachers have trained them to believe there are wrong or right answers, and the last thing a kid wants to do is attract disapproval, especially since punishment often follows. Adults consider kids too young to have a valid opinion of what foods are good for them, let alone where they would be better off. Thus, they have no input in a scarey situation, not because they don't have feelings, but because they have no safe place to express them.
It wouldn't be good to leave custody decisions up to children. Their choices would too often be coerced by circumstances. The parent who gives the most gifts may seem like the one who loves more at the time the decision is made, no matter the parent's true history with the child.
There are also many other ways to wrongly influence a child. Kids assume adults know a lot more than they do. The adult who is recognized as an authority, such as a parent or teacher would certainly have credibility in a child's world. It is too easy for a parent to manipulate what the child says for her statements to be a reliable indicator of her needs.
Parents often take advantage of the child's trust by focusing on what that parent believes is the other parent's shortcomings. The result is that the child joins in blaming the other parent just so he'll feel protected and approved of by someone. The truth or the exaggeration of the reporting parent's observations are not something a child can readily understand. Again, it is a kid's inexperience with the world and its ways that hamper his ability to see through a grown-up person's motives for lying, stretching the truth, or even seeing a given situation in an unfair or unbalanced way.
Children need to have a forum to air their views in a divorce. What they say may not be deep, or even useful, but it may help them adjust to the inevitable changes they are about to experience. They need to know that someone hears their concerns, and will listen to what they have to say. They need to feel safe asking the kind of questions that may make parents feel stupid, or uncomfortable. They are entitled to honest, age appropriate answers, too.
No child should have control over the family's fortunes. Kids just don't have the experience to decide whether it is in Mom and Dad's best interest to stay together, or to understand the many decisions about their welfare that must be made in a divorce. However, even though they can't row the boat, they should have life jackets, and should be taught how to swim so that they are not drowned in their family's disfunctions.
http://d3b639yjpf37-y4524046c-55h.hop.clickbank.net/ You need this information!
Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers. Caring for Kids is my current life focus. I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate. Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.
| Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lucille_Uttermohlen |
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
How to Motivate and Mobilize a Confident Kid
Maximizing a child's self esteem is one of the more gratifying accomplishments that an adult can achieve in life. Can you imagine the feeling you would have knowing you have influenced a teenager throughout his upbringing to be the best he can be? Whether it be a Rhodes Scholar or graduating with his High School class. Pride of achievement is something you can to be a part of
Motivating a child usually translates to energizing goal-oriented behavior. Students are likely to be motivated by the amount of effort they put in, believe they can be effective in reaching desired goals and are interested in mastering a topic, rather than just rote-learning to achieve good grades.
The self-control of motivation may be understood as a subject of emotional intelligence; a kid may be highly intelligent according to a conservative definition yet unmotivated to dedicate this intelligence to certain tasks. Drives and desires can be described as a need that activates behavior that may be aimed at a goal. These may begin within the person and may not require outside stimulation to encourage the behavior. Basic drives could be sparked by deficiencies such as hunger, which motivates a person to seek food; whereas more subtle drives might be the desire for praise and approval, which motivates a child to behave in a manner pleasing to others.
In the incentive theory of motivation a reward, tangible or intangible, is presented after the occurrence of a behavior with the intent to cause the behavior to occur again. This is best accomplished by associating positive meaning to the behavior. Studies show that if the child receives the reward immediately, the effect could be greater, and decreases as the duration lengthens. A repetitive action-reward combination can cause the action to become habit. Motivation comes from two sources; oneself, and other people. These two sources are called intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation, respectively.
Human beings have desires and wants that influence their behavior. Only unsatisfied wants negatively influence behavior, satisfied needs no not. Since needs are many, they are arranged in order of importance, from the basic to the complex. A person advances to the next level of needs only after the lower level need is at least minimally met. The further the progress up the hierarchy, the more individuality, humanness and psychological health a child will show.
The factors that motivate people can change over their lifetime, but "respect for me as a person" is one of the top motivating factors at any stage of life.
Mobilizing a kid to do something is another topic altogether and I do talk about this on my blog.
Motivating a child usually translates to energizing goal-oriented behavior. Students are likely to be motivated by the amount of effort they put in, believe they can be effective in reaching desired goals and are interested in mastering a topic, rather than just rote-learning to achieve good grades.
The self-control of motivation may be understood as a subject of emotional intelligence; a kid may be highly intelligent according to a conservative definition yet unmotivated to dedicate this intelligence to certain tasks. Drives and desires can be described as a need that activates behavior that may be aimed at a goal. These may begin within the person and may not require outside stimulation to encourage the behavior. Basic drives could be sparked by deficiencies such as hunger, which motivates a person to seek food; whereas more subtle drives might be the desire for praise and approval, which motivates a child to behave in a manner pleasing to others.
In the incentive theory of motivation a reward, tangible or intangible, is presented after the occurrence of a behavior with the intent to cause the behavior to occur again. This is best accomplished by associating positive meaning to the behavior. Studies show that if the child receives the reward immediately, the effect could be greater, and decreases as the duration lengthens. A repetitive action-reward combination can cause the action to become habit. Motivation comes from two sources; oneself, and other people. These two sources are called intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation, respectively.
Human beings have desires and wants that influence their behavior. Only unsatisfied wants negatively influence behavior, satisfied needs no not. Since needs are many, they are arranged in order of importance, from the basic to the complex. A person advances to the next level of needs only after the lower level need is at least minimally met. The further the progress up the hierarchy, the more individuality, humanness and psychological health a child will show.
The factors that motivate people can change over their lifetime, but "respect for me as a person" is one of the top motivating factors at any stage of life.
Mobilizing a kid to do something is another topic altogether and I do talk about this on my blog.
Maureen Amberg is an author and entrepreneur whose focus is on caring for kids and helping all interested adults do the same.
Please check: http://KidsEdgeOnSelfEsteem.com
Blog: http://www.MEAOnlineEdge.blogspot.com
I welcome all comments and suggestions
Thank you for reading!
Please check: http://KidsEdgeOnSelfEsteem.com
Blog: http://www.MEAOnlineEdge.blogspot.com
I welcome all comments and suggestions
Thank you for reading!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Maureen_E_Amberg
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Do You Really Have To Divorce Before Your Kids Are Grown?
Written by: Maureen Amberg
Do you have any idea how destructive divorce is to your children? The self confidence and self esteem of kids is devastated when their parents divorce. Why the heck did you marry in the first place? And then choose to have children. Did you ever consider how selfish this decision was and how harmful it would be to your children?
I recall hearing from a close family member, "I married her because I knew she would be a fantastic mother to our children". When asked why she married him, she said "I thought he came from a stable family, and that is what I wanted my children to be a part of". "I never loved him". Unbelievable!
Of course, they are separated. Living in different towns, with all of the accompanying expenses incurred by two households. They are not divorced, because they wanted to "let the children down easy". How ridiculous does this sound to you?
There is a lot of conflict between the parents which, in turn, raises anxiety in the children. Of course, there is going to be "acting out", or whatever, by the children. A teenager is so traumatized by the entire situation, that he is unable to go to school. Most likely, he has agoraphobia (unable to leave comfortable surroundings). How sad is that? Makes one want to cry. I am extremely angry over the intentional whole mess.
To avoid conflict, a kid will retreat from being assertive. Therefore, school achievement and social activities will be diminished. Forget about sports. How can a kid excel in sports when he feels no self confidence because of home troubles.
Some kids are able to accomplish a high degree of self acceptance even though their parents are "separated", but this is not the norm. They may be calm on the surface, but maybe they are stockpiling failure for later personal eruptions.
When parents divorce, often there are feelings of guilt and unworthiness in the children. Did they in some way contribute to the breakup of their beloved parents? Some of it must have been my fault!
Have you considered staying together in the same household for the sake of your kids? Can you at least be civil in your conversations with each other? If you are mature, caring adults, perhaps you can hold the family together at least until the children turn 18, and can presumably, be on their own.
Please, if you are rationale, caring, mature adults, who truly love their children...Do Not Divorce. Stay in the same arena with your kids. You owe it to them. You are the reason they are here, and they are all of our future. Do the right thing.
http://KidsEdgeOnSelfEsteem.com
http://MEAOnLineEdge.blogspot.com
http://KidsSelfConfidence.com
http://TeenagersSelfEsteem.comhttp://www.kidsedgeonselfesteem.com
Do you have any idea how destructive divorce is to your children? The self confidence and self esteem of kids is devastated when their parents divorce. Why the heck did you marry in the first place? And then choose to have children. Did you ever consider how selfish this decision was and how harmful it would be to your children?
I recall hearing from a close family member, "I married her because I knew she would be a fantastic mother to our children". When asked why she married him, she said "I thought he came from a stable family, and that is what I wanted my children to be a part of". "I never loved him". Unbelievable!
Of course, they are separated. Living in different towns, with all of the accompanying expenses incurred by two households. They are not divorced, because they wanted to "let the children down easy". How ridiculous does this sound to you?
There is a lot of conflict between the parents which, in turn, raises anxiety in the children. Of course, there is going to be "acting out", or whatever, by the children. A teenager is so traumatized by the entire situation, that he is unable to go to school. Most likely, he has agoraphobia (unable to leave comfortable surroundings). How sad is that? Makes one want to cry. I am extremely angry over the intentional whole mess.
To avoid conflict, a kid will retreat from being assertive. Therefore, school achievement and social activities will be diminished. Forget about sports. How can a kid excel in sports when he feels no self confidence because of home troubles.
Some kids are able to accomplish a high degree of self acceptance even though their parents are "separated", but this is not the norm. They may be calm on the surface, but maybe they are stockpiling failure for later personal eruptions.
When parents divorce, often there are feelings of guilt and unworthiness in the children. Did they in some way contribute to the breakup of their beloved parents? Some of it must have been my fault!
Have you considered staying together in the same household for the sake of your kids? Can you at least be civil in your conversations with each other? If you are mature, caring adults, perhaps you can hold the family together at least until the children turn 18, and can presumably, be on their own.
Please, if you are rationale, caring, mature adults, who truly love their children...Do Not Divorce. Stay in the same arena with your kids. You owe it to them. You are the reason they are here, and they are all of our future. Do the right thing.
About the Author
Maureen Amberg is an author,entrepreneur and children's advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and self confidence of children.http://KidsEdgeOnSelfEsteem.com
http://MEAOnLineEdge.blogspot.com
http://KidsSelfConfidence.com
http://TeenagersSelfEsteem.comhttp://www.kidsedgeonselfesteem.com
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- Maureen is an author,entrepreneur and children's advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and self confidence of children; including teenagers. Caring for Kids is my current life focus. I strive to be tranquil, serene, and compassionate. Hopefully, this translates into "peaceful and calm".
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