Do You Really Have To Divorce Before Your Kids Are Grown?

Written by: Maureen Amberg
Do you have any idea how destructive divorce is to your children? The self confidence and self esteem of kids is devastated when their parents divorce. Why the heck did you marry in the first place? And then choose to have children. Did you ever consider how selfish this decision was and how harmful it would be to your children?

I recall hearing from a close family member, "I married her because I knew she would be a fantastic mother to our children". When asked why she married him, she said "I thought he came from a stable family, and that is what I wanted my children to be a part of". "I never loved him". Unbelievable!

Of course, they are separated. Living in different towns, with all of the accompanying expenses incurred by two households. They are not divorced, because they wanted to "let the children down easy". How ridiculous does this sound to you?

There is a lot of conflict between the parents which, in turn, raises anxiety in the children. Of course, there is going to be "acting out", or whatever, by the children. A teenager is so traumatized by the entire situation, that he is unable to go to school. Most likely, he has agoraphobia (unable to leave comfortable surroundings). How sad is that? Makes one want to cry. I am extremely angry over the intentional whole mess.

To avoid conflict, a kid will retreat from being assertive. Therefore, school achievement and social activities will be diminished. Forget about sports. How can a kid excel in sports when he feels no self confidence because of home troubles.

Some kids are able to accomplish a high degree of self acceptance even though their parents are "separated", but this is not the norm. They may be calm on the surface, but maybe they are stockpiling failure for later personal eruptions.

When parents divorce, often there are feelings of guilt and unworthiness in the children. Did they in some way contribute to the breakup of their beloved parents? Some of it must have been my fault!

Have you considered staying together in the same household for the sake of your kids? Can you at least be civil in your conversations with each other? If you are mature, caring adults, perhaps you can hold the family together at least until the children turn 18, and can presumably, be on their own.

Please, if you are rationale, caring, mature adults, who truly love their children...Do Not Divorce. Stay in the same arena with your kids. You owe it to them. You are the reason they are here, and they are all of our future. Do the right thing.

About the Author

Maureen Amberg is an author,entrepreneur and children's advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and self confidence of children.
http://KidsEdgeOnSelfEsteem.com
http://MEAOnLineEdge.blogspot.com
http://KidsSelfConfidence.com
http://TeenagersSelfEsteem.comhttp://www.kidsedgeonselfesteem.com