Raising Your Children To Be Confident Adults

by Maureen Amberg

Some young children are so withdrawn and shy that sometimes we want to cry for them.  They have no sense of self confidence nor do they believe they have any value.  You do not want to see your own children this way.

It is not only important to make sure that your children have the confidence that they need to help them through the difficult younger years, but it is that very confidence that is going to assist them through the rest of their life. Your positive influence and nurturing will insure a child's successful growth to adulthood.

By the time a child is 18 months old, he is an individual and has a separate identity from those around him.  He will need lots of love and encouragement, praise of his abilities and recognizing his strengths from infancy.  His eventual temperament will be predicated on how you recognize him as an individual early on.

Your child will grow up to be an active and balanced adult under your invaluable supervision of boosting his self confidence.  Getting a child through their childhood years will be a challenge, but so well worth it.  You will find valuable help along the way, if you are pro active at seeking it.  I encourage you to do so.

Perhaps one of the most important things that you can do is to allow your child to achieve on his own.  Watching a child struggle at something is hard, but you can give support where needed, while still allowing the space necessary for individual achievement. Balance is a key ingredient here.

You should also make sure that even the smaller accomplishments do not go unrecognized.  This can do a lot, not only to help boost their self-confidence now but to give them the desire to continue trying.

One other thing that you can do is to stick with your child during the entire process of growing up.  Although it can be frustrating for a child to struggle with something, when they have your support available, it makes it much easier for them to work their way through anything.  It is not always the end of the race that wins the prize, it is running the race that makes one stronger.  When you assist your child in running, yet give him the opportunity to run on his own, you really have helped him to be confident in himself.

What a wonderful sense of accomplishment when we manage to do something ourselves.  That is especially true for children.  Always look for ways to boost self-confidence in your children!

Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers.  Caring for Kids is my current life focus.  I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate.  Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.

How To Protect Your Children From The Sun

The incidence of melanoma, a potentially fatal skin cancer, is increasing dramatically.  It is currently the most common type of cancer in young women between the ages of 25 and 29
. 

Indeed, I have a young friend, a boy of six, who is having surgery at John Wayne Cancer Institute tomorrow.  He has a suspected lesion on his shoulder. I will let you know what happens.

Sun exposure plays a significant role in the development of melanoma.  Although more and more adults are following their doctor's advice and using sunscreens during outdoor activities, many of us are unaware of how important it is to make sure that our children, especially infants, are getting the necessary protection.

According to Dr. Diane Berson, a dermatologist at Iris Cantor Women's Health Center of New York Presbyterian Hopital/Weill Cornell Medical Center, "intense sun exposure prior to age 20 may be more of a significant risk factor for skin cancer than sun exposure past the age of 20.  Three or more blistering sunburns early in life, or three or more years of working out of doors, (e.g. camp counselors or lifeguards), without protection, can increase the risk of skin cancer by more than three times.

-Babies up to 6 months should be kept out of the sun completely.

-All children need regular daily applications of sunscreens that are water and sweat-proof.  Some of these sunscreens are available in spray form, which is often more convenient for children.

-Depending on the size of the child, approximately one ounce of sunscreen should be applied to the entire body surface one half hour before going outside and should be reapplied after swimming.

-Parents should also note that if their child has freckles, this is a sign that their skin has sustained some sun damage.

-Moles present at birth need to be evaluated by a dermatologist.  In some cases, they may need to be removed because of a possible risk that they may develop into a melanoma later in life.

-Teenagers, who are often very concerned about having a tan, should be reminded that tanning creams are safe and will give them the same look without the harmful rays of the sun.

-Tanning beds are not good for anyone!

Always caring for kids,

Maureen Amberg

Helping Your Child to Have a Healthy Body Image

By Maureen Amberg

One of the more difficult, yet hidden things that our children tend to deal with is a problem with their own self-image. This is largely due to the fact that the media is constantly portraying people as being healthy when their body is overweight, or otherwise less than perfect. That positive picture image is perhaps unreasonable for most people to attain. It is also, in many cases, due to the parents own lack of self-confidence in the way that they look. Did you know that children as young as 4 years old are now concerned with how their bodies look? Those young children will actually alter their diet or exercise to improve how they look.

This problem is often accelerated as a child reaches their teenage years. It goes beyond simply wanting to have the perfect body image, there are times when serious problems can occur and manifest themselves in the form of issues such as anorexia and bulimia. If you would like to be able to help your children to deal with these issues successfully, it really starts with the things that you are doing at home.

From a young age, you should foster a desire for a healthy lifestyle in your children, not unreasonable goals as to their body shape. Each of us are individuals, and your children need to feel comfortable with the individual that they are becoming. This can be done through complimenting them on the way that they look, on a regular basis, as well as being a role model for the type of confidence that you would like them to exude.

Doing this can help you to counterbalance any difficulties that they may be experiencing or pressures that they have from outside sources. When you do it correctly and consistently, you not only give your child the confidence that they need now, but you have helped them to have that confidence for the rest of their lives.

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Description

One of the more difficult, often hidden, issues that our children have to deal with is their own self-image, or body image. Is the media partially to blame?
Young people's self esteem is vital.

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About the Author (text)

Maureen Amberg is an author,entrepreneur and childrens advocate with emphasis on the self esteem and self confidence of children. There are many "secrets" to raising great kids.
http://www.KidsEdgeOnSelfEsteem.com

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About the Author (HTML)

Maureen Amberg has many "secrets to raising great kids.

target="_blank">http://www.KidsEdgeOnSelfEsteem.com

This blog has some very excellent FREE information/on/it and I beg you please to take a look at it and become a follower.

5 Fun Ways to Help Your Child Conquer His Fear of Water

Swimming is one of the most important skills that a person must acquire in his life. It is best to learn this skill as early as possible before the fear of water sets in. But in case your child is already dreading the water, here are 6 tips to keep your child's fear at bay.

1. Let the child get accustomed to the water. Everything starts with the first step. In swimming, the first step is as simple as letting your child get wet. This can start in the shower room. After getting wet, some children will be more adventurous in getting into the water while others will take a longer time to even sit at the edge of the pool. Either way, encourage the child to play in the water even if you have to carry him the whole time. As he gets used to the water, he will eventually learn to let go.
2. Play on the steps. You can build your child's trust by holding his hand as you both step into the pool. Let him sit down on the steps and play there by splashing water, for example, or give him a toy that he can play with. The important key is for your child to learn that the water is safe and he can have lots of fun in it.
3. Blow bubbles under water. This serves two purpose - to practice deep breathing and encourage your child to submerge his face underwater. You can turn this into a game. Start with a countdown. Have him take a deep breath and close his mouth. Then have him lower his mouth and nose under water where he will exhale through his nose afterwards.
4. Play games. You can bring plastic balls which you will throw into the water. Urge your child to retrieve the ball. Make sure of course that the pool is shallow enough for the child to walk in without submerging. Once the child is used to walking in the pool, you can start throwing toys that sink. Persuade your child to look for the toy underwater and get it. The goal here is to let the child get used to putting his face under water and eventually his whole head.
5. Teach the child to kick. Whether the child is hanging on to you or on the side of the pool, teach him how to kick his legs under water. Once he learns how to kick his legs, encourage him to use a swim board so he can move around the pool while kicking.
6. Professional lessons.  As your child becomes a little older I really encourage you to put him in to a swim class with other kids.  He will learn proper swimming techniques and pool etiquette.

Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers.  Caring for Kids is my current life focus.  I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate.  Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.

Article Help: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Summer_Roberts

How to Tell If Your Teen is Depressed

It is crucial to understand that teenage depression is quite different from adults. This is because depression does not show the same symptom in teens as it does in adults. This makes depression in teens very difficult to diagnose. However, it is imperative that parents and other adults who work with teens understand the fact that depression in teenagers is as high as depression in adults, and can possibly lead to self harm or maybe suicide. Every adult should know how to tell if their teen is depressed-

The first and most important thing to realize is that teenagers with depression do not show the same activity as adults with depression. The problem for many parents is the fact that much of the behavior that is shown to be teenage depression can be the same behaviors that has been seen at an earlier age. A diagnosis of clinical depression may include the following behaviors-

• Feelings of not being understood by adults in the teen's life-These feelings are often expressed in subtle behavior changes.
• Increasing antisocial behavior-This includes isolation from friends and favorite activities.
• Trying to leave home and/or attempting to run away
• Negative attitude and complaining of feeling "picked on" or disapproved of
• Sudden increase in aggression
• Withdrawal from the family and other social activities
• Spends more time by themselves and prefers to be isolated.
• Lack of adequate hygiene
• Sudden decrease in grades
• An unexplained weight loss or gain of over five pounds
• Increased use of alcohol or drugs
• Other self destructive behaviors (cutting, increased risk taking etc.)-

It should be noted that if your teenager is depressed he may exhibit only some or all of these symptoms. Parents should also understand that gender plays a part in how the depression will be exhibited. Teen girls with depression may become preoccupied with things of a morbid nature, while teenage boys will act up, becoming aggressive at school or at home, and perhaps getting into trouble with the police.

Parents are often confused and frustrated when their teens begin to act like this. They react out of fear, frustration and a lack of education. Some parents become stern disciplinarians, or even put the teen down, which only serves to increase feelings of guilt and depression. They tell their teen "to just get over it" which can only heighten the problem of self acceptance. Some parents feel too helpless to react, and stand by waiting for adulthood to arrive. It is crucial to understand that ignoring and not treating depression will not make it better. Parents and other adults must be vigilant about the signs of depression, and seek help for their teen, if they begin exhibiting symptoms.
The good news is that with proper diagnosis and treatment a depressed teen can be greatly helped. There are steps that can be taken to help expedite the treatment of depression. These are-

• Have a medical opinion-Parents should understand that symptoms of depression can be the end result of a variety of illnesses, including thyroid, viral infections, and other factors. Your doctor can also prescribe medications, if they feel the situation is warranting that.
• Encourage your teen to exercise daily-Even a brief walk can be a mood booster.
• Seek out counseling-It is important that your teen have the opportunity to talk to someone they trust. Find a counselor who is experienced in treating teen depression.

Teenagers are notoriously moody, but if your teen exhibits the above described symptoms for over two weeks, they could be depressed. It is important to take teen depression seriously and remember that when it is treated, teens have a very high cure rate.

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Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers.  Caring for Kids is my current life focus.  I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate.  Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.

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Article Help: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Beverly_Frank

Abundant Happiness

YOU deserve to have the life of your dreams! YOU were born to live your life filled with Joy, Passion, Prosperity, Inner Peace and Unconditional Love! Abundant Happiness is YOUR Birthright!

The above was written by my good friend, Ryan Pearson.

Maureen Amberg

A More Challenging Child & Discipline

As promised in another message,  there are some children that are absolutely more challenging than others.  Remember, everyone is an individual!  Any parent can find they have an extra exuberant, and yes, defiant, child to raise. Many are strong-willed, intensely curious, prone to eating and sleeping problems, often hyperactive and/or unusually intelligent. 

 

You may say to yourself, I didn't bargain for this kind of a kid...why me?  Stop and think!  Perhaps you have been given this sensational opportunity to raise an absolutely amazing human being! Try to have patience and do it right ~

 

Let's get to the teaching, loving and disciplining aspect.of this startling individual. Save your energy for major problems by letting him win a battle now and then, and avoid making a full diagnosis until the child is of school age.

 

Punishing a child is not to get even but to teach.  Try to remember that.  A "time-out" is an effective and reasonable punishment for children of almost any age, as is rewarding good behavior.  A "time out" is a cooling off period for both child and parent. Explain to the child it is the act you dislike, not the child.  

 

Don't give up, and try not to get frustrated.  Sometimes problems occur because of personality differences between a parent and a child, but there are children with whom any parent would have trouble.  The challenge grows as the child does.  He may have powerful needs and unyielding determination, and often intensely curious about every aspect of his surroundings.

 

It is important to accept this strong-willed child as he is and to convey your love often and sincerely.  Give plenty of opportunities to explore all sorts of activities.  Encourage physical activity. Try to find what he is "passionate" about and feed this passion.  Keep him occupied and especially with books and games.

 

I will talk more about this in future messages.  Stay tuned!

 

Always caring for kids,

Maureen Amberg

 

P.S.  Check this Free Child Discipline Presentation

Click Here!

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Disciplining Your Kids

I hope you have been finding my information useful in raising your children.  

In disciplining a child, warmth and love are the key ingredients to effectively helping them learn how to behave.  Your long range goal is to teach your children to discipline themselves, to have self-control rather than blindly follow others who are bigger and stronger than they. And just telling your kids how to behave is not enough.  They need to be told why, and in a loving and caring way!

Age appropriate guidance must be implemented.  Small children need to be taught safety lessons first, and then simple phrases like thank you and please. Occasionally, a simple short "time out" can be invoked.  Reward good behavior whenever possible.

For children of all ages, keep your rules succinct and simple, and whether or not you believe in spanking a child (I do not), NEVER shake a child or hit them in the head. 

Some children are hyperactive and pose greater challenges than others.  But all should be accepted, respected and loved, and parents must remember that the objective of discipline is to teach.

Maureen

P.S.  Parenting Tools That Are Guaranteed To Work For You And Your Child
    Click Here! 
     

KIDS EDGE ON SELF ESTEEM: What's the Matter With Kids Today?

KIDS EDGE ON SELF ESTEEM: What's the Matter With Kids Today?

What's the Matter With Kids Today?

What’s the problem with kids today?  The answer to that is easy:  THEIR PARENTS!
According to the Fresno Bee, five high school seniors cut down two trees on their campus as a “senior prank.”  School officials expelled the students and transferred them to a continuation school to finish out their senior year.
The students (all seniors and football players) cut down two Southern Live Oak trees, with ten-inch trunks.  The trees were about 14 years old and nearly 20 feet high.  The damage was estimated to be between $7,500 and $14,000.  The boys said this was a prank meant to deprive junior classmates of shade.
Stupid, stupid, stupid…..but they are all “jock heroes,” probably way too used to inflated estimations of their own value and power.
The school did exactly the right thing.
The parents did exactly the wrong thing.  They said that the school “overreacted,” and they got attorneys involved to get their kids back in the school.  The school is standing firm.  Good for them.
“To hire attorneys,” as one of my listeners wrote to me, “teaches these kids that they can get away with ‘pranks’ and that they do not have to respect the law or be accountable for such behavior to school officials.  It will be interesting to see how these youngsters turn out as they mature.  Will they be good citizens?  Will they raise their children similarly to how they were raised?  Will their views change on how their own parents handled this life lesson?  It remains to be seen.  I do hope our community doesn’t read about them again later on down the line after they’ve robbed a store or beaten someone up and again hired an attorney to defend their actions.”
That point, in particular, is why (when people call and tell me that they have “x” number of “beautiful” children) I tell them I don’t care if they have pretty or ugly kids.  I only care that they have decent kids, because the well being of all of us depends on that.

P.S.  Tell me what you think

The Six Pillars of Character

Trustworthiness

Be honest • Don’t deceive, cheat or steal • Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do • Have the courage to do the right thing • Build a good reputation • Be loyal — stand by your family, friends and country

Respect

Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule • Be tolerant of differences • Use good manners, not bad language • Be considerate of the feelings of others • Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone • Deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements

Responsibility

Do what you are supposed to do • Persevere: keep on trying! • Always do your best • Use self-control • Be self-disciplined • Think before you act — consider the consequences • Be accountable for your choices

Fairness

Play by the rules • Take turns and share • Be open-minded; listen to others • Don’t take advantage of others • Don’t blame others carelessly

Caring

Be kind • Be compassionate and show you care • Express gratitude • Forgive others • Help people in need

Citizenship

Do your share to make your school and community better • Cooperate • Get involved in community affairs • Stay informed; vote • Be a good neighbor • Obey laws and rules • Respect authority • Protect the environment

Who You Become is More Important than When You Arrive

So many people are so focused on what
they want to get or where they want to
go, they miss the importance of their
journey and who they are becoming.

The greatest things about goals is not
what we achieve or receive, it is who
we become in the journey to our goals.

We attract what is in vibrational harmony
with who we are. In order to attract new
people, things or circumstances we have
change who we are.

To reach your goals, you must become the
person that is a vibrational match for what
it is that you want. If you desire goals
that are above and beyond where you
currently are, then you must grow to
the level where your goals reside.

This is such a beautiful thing! Your
goals and desires serve a very valuable
purpose, because they push you to strive
to be better. When you strive to be
better, you automatically become better.

You can absolutely live your ideal life....
by becoming your ideal self.

Goal Setting For Kids

A goal states something that we want in life. Ideally we need to encourage children to have goals that improve their school work, talents and abilities and personal development rather than material goals.

Encouraging your child to set goals will help them get the most out of life, experience fun and  gain a sense of achievement and self respect.

It is, however, important that they do not feel pressured to continually achieve and constantly set higher goals, because this can lead to a feeling of not being good enough. Children must understand that having goals are there to make them feel good about themselves and adds fun to life. Goals are most powerful when you are passionate about them and really want them in your life. If they are someone else`s goals and a set of expectations put upon a child, they will more than likely not have the enthusiasm to go for the goal. Goals also help us discover our passions, values and what we really want in life.

Having goals are a way to feel better about ourselves rather than worse. Once children have established their goals and are working towards them, they must learn not to give up. Failure is part of life and makes us strong. We just have to pick ourselves up and start again. Remind them that Thomas Edison, who invented the light bulb, tried thousands of ways to make a light bulb before he was successful. The story of Robert the Bruce is also a great example of not giving up. Robert Bruce had failed 6 battles and was just about to give up when he saw a spider weaving her web. She worked slowly and tried to throw the thread from one edge of the wall to another. Each time it failed, but she did not give up and was successful on the seventh attempt. This gave him courage and strength not to give up and he went out and won the battle.

When children are making a list of their goals they need to think about the impact of that goal on themselves and others. Goals that are most successful are ones that benefit the self and bring further positivity and success. It is also important that children believe that it is really possible. For example if the goal was to fly, they will know that it is not possible for humans to fly without wings.

Children can work towards their long term goals and punctuate them with short term goals. This allows them to enjoy the journey and treats along the way rather than having a long term and almost unattainable goal. For younger children, you may like to draw a ladder or a winding path. They can mark out their goals and have a treat along the way.

Here are 5 steps to help children make and achieve their goals:
1. Make a list of your goals.
2. Close your eyes and really believe that it can be true. Imagine that you have achieved your goal. How does it feel?
3. Make a list of 5 things you are going to do on the way to get closer to your goal.
4. Everyday when you wake up, say a positive statement such as "I am brilliant at dance/school work/music/sports," "I am successful," "I believe in myself."
5. Everyday, try and do one thing that helps you get closer to your goal.

Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers.  Caring for Kids is my current life focus.  I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate.  Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.

Marneta Viegas is the founder and MD of Relax Kids. Relax Kids create relaxation resources for children, including CDs, books and DVDs, that are used in over 80,000 homes and schools in the UK.
http://www.relaxkids.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marneta_Viegas

Helping a Child to Feel Loved in a Divided Home

by Maureen Amberg

Even though none of us ever plan on raising a child on our own when we start out in a relationship, there are times when it is going to occur.  This can be especially difficult on the child and particularly when they are a little older when the breakup occurs.  It is important for you to make sure that you handle the situation properly.  Somehow, you must find the right way to build up their confidence and assist them in overcoming the difficulties they are sure to encounter.  This may require professional counseling.

Perhaps one of the most difficult problems that you may come up against, is that the child may blame themselves for the problems that happened.  Even though this may seem completely irrational, when we look at it through a child's eyes, we can easily see how they could think that.  YOU must convince them beyond a shadow of a doubt that they had nothing to do with the family breakup.  This is often the first step in healing and assisting them in rebuilding their self confidence again.

Along with convincing them of the fact that they are not responsible for the situation, you are also going to have to reassure them of your never ending love as well. Take the time to spend special moments with your childs, and make sure that you do not allow the pressures of life to crowd out this all important task.  It is not always going to be necessary for you to take extraordinary amounts of time in this regard, but allowing your child enough time, now, to understand that they are still an immensely important part in your life can assist them greatly.

Not only will this help them now, but it will also help them throughout their entire life.  This is a life altering experience for your child.

Click Here!

Always caring for kids,
Maureen

Books For Teenagers - Why Reading is Important

Books open the windows to uncharted worlds and innovative ideas. Unfortunately, instead of reading, many teenagers and young adults have spent the majority of their free time watching television, playing computerized games, and listening to music on their iPods.
Reading books, both fiction and non-fiction, offers an edge in our increasingly competitive world, and it's a pleasure that should be encouraged and cultivated in our youth. The teenager or young adult that reads has a distinct edge on their peers.
Because reading is an active mental process, a teen's mind is sharpened and memory is increased. The brain has to become more creative while envisioning the events unfolding in a book, instead of having images served up on a screen.Unlike reading email or clicking from website to website, when reading a book a teenager has to focus the mind and concentrate for an extended period of time. As a natural part of the process, vocabulary and spelling improve.
Reading a book is like entering the mind of another person, experiencing their thoughts and feelings, logic and rationalizations. As a result a well-read young adult has an enlightened understanding of people and sometimes world-changing events. Books introduce new ideas, which can open up a different world view and lead to interest in a previously unexplored career possibility, or a new hobby, and may well change the life path a teenager may have otherwise chosen.
In today's global culture, it's important for a teenager to gain an understanding of the ethnicity, lifestyles and customs of people all around the world. They gain sophisticated world view and a sense of self-confidence from the knowledge they've gained. Teenagers who read always have something to talk about Their minds aren't saturated with media claptrap but instead have a basis of solid knowledge and understanding from the books they have read.
The best part of reading is the pleasure it gives! It's an escape from the hubbub of the world around them, a distraction from the troubles all teenagers experience, and if they're lucky it will become a source of enjoyment for the rest of their lives.

If you're looking for books for young adults to to read, visit BestBooks4Teens.com. You'll find reviews of the most popular books, lists of the best books for teenagers, and video trailers of the newest books available.

Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers.  Caring for Kids is my current life focus.  I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate.  Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kay_Zeeh

Tunney Side of Sports

Jim Tunney is a friend of mine.  He was a high school principal in the Los Angeles area before becoming a professionl referree for the National Football League.  If you would like to know more about him, please let me know.

"Everything he does has such grace about it," said Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane about the New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter.  Jeter was named 2009 Sportsman of the Year by Sports Illustrated.  Writer Tom Verducci began his story on Jeter this way:  "Every sunrise is a fresh shot at victory - every day an invitation to compete with that same smile and delight of that (little) boy in the mirror that looked back at him..."

As a kid, I was a Yankee fan listening to their games on the radio.  Major League teams had not moved west of St Louis, so Red Ruffing, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, et al, had become "my team".  I didn't get to know them as we do about sports stars today, i.e., their ups, their downs, the ins and outs of their off-field personalities - which is probably too much information anyway.

There have been many other great Yankee players that I admired, but when I watch Jeter play, what strikes me first and foremost is his smile.  He looks like he's having fun playing baseball by treating every day, every game, and every batting practice like he's happy just to be there.

One of his coaches said, "Players gravitate toward him.  He is well-liked, has a great disposition, a good sense of humor and, of course, that smile, but when it comes to working, that grin melts into a serious look."  Is there any part of the above that prevents any of us from adopting that kind of behavior?

Certainly credit must go to his mother (Dorothy) and father (Charles) for instilling in him the values of integrity, humility and respect for others.  Maybe this example expresses it.  Dorothy and Charles have been in the Yankees clubhouse only once, and that was back in 1995 when Derek first reached the big leagues.  His parents were reluctant to go there, saying "this is where you work."  Proud, you bet!  But respectful of him and his place of work.  Is that so hard to do?  That behavior transmitted their values to their son.  We all can do that!

What Jeter dislikes most is an attitude of "not caring".  He believes that you must care about winning.  Having fun includes an attitude of caring about winning.  That's a passion that all athletes need to follow.

WILL YOU PRACTICE THE JETER VALUES IN EVERYTHING YOU DO?
http://www.tunneysideofsports.com 

Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers.  Caring for Kids is my current life focus.  I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate.  Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.

KIDS EDGE ON SELF ESTEEM: Punish or Teach

KIDS EDGE ON SELF ESTEEM: Punish or Teach

Punish or Teach

A story.....

As Greg paces the floor, waiting for his 17 year old daughter, Sandy, to return from a school event, he feels two conflicting emotions:  fear and anger.  Fear that something terrible has happened to her.  Anger because he thinks his fear is probably unfounded and Sandy is not hurt, simply irresponsible.

Finally, Sandy calls.  She's all right.  She just lost track of time.  Greg's fear disappears, but his anger grows.

The love that motivated his worry is overwhelmed by a growing sense of outrage.  He begins to rehearse what he will say and what punishment he will inflict.  Unless he intercepts his anger, it can easily turn to rage, an emotion likely to produce foolishly impulsive conduct that's likely to alienate Sandy and widen the rift between them.

Here's the character challenge:  Can Greg stop his runaway train of anger long enough to think about his objectives?  His immediate goal is to vent his fury and frustration and teach Sandy a lesson.  His long term goals are to strengthen, not weaken, his relationship with his daughter and to help her become more responsible and respectful.

If Greg stops and thinks about his broader goals, he will want to turn this event into a positive teaching moment.  To do that, he will have to choose his words and tone carefully.

Good managers don't yell at or demean employees because it would be ineffective and unethical.  Parents have no less of a duty to be tactful and respectful when dealing with their children.

Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers.  Caring for Kids is my current life focus.  I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate.  Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful

Pappy's favorite quote

"I've never known anybody to achieve anything without overcoming adversity."
---Lou Holtz

KIDS EDGE ON SELF ESTEEM: Sibling Fighting

KIDS EDGE ON SELF ESTEEM: Sibling Fighting

Sibling Fighting

by Maureen Amberg

As promised, here are my opinions on Sibling Fighting and how to deal with it.

SIBLING FIGHTING

Jealousy between siblings, while normal, is a powerful and real emotion. Certainly, you cannot talk an older child out of feeling jealous of a new baby and there really is no reason for him to love that new baby who he considers an intrusion and disruption in his life. However, if you ask for help with the care of the baby, understanding the older child's point of view, that may be selfish and emotional, in time, the relationship may grow very close and loving. But at the start the new baby is at best a novelty, at worst, an interloper and enemy.

Jealousy of the baby is strongest in a child under five years, because he is more dependent on his parents and does not yet have many outside interests. A grandparent can be most helpful at this point.

By six or more, he is coming into his own and focusing on school and friends, and maybe even sports. He is building a position for himself in the real world.

Do not compare your children.  If one child is jealous of a sibling's achievements and abilities, parents should acknowledge their child's feelings and encourage them to discover unique talents of their own.  Some parents dismiss hurt feelings, or focus too much attention on the smarter or more successful kids.

Teasing is the 2nd issue.  Often this consists of provoking a fight, annoying each other, shouting, poking and so forth.  Younger children often resort to name calling.  The fact is that teasing is a powerful way to get an emotional response from someone.  Some siblings seem to tease each other mercilessly.

Teasing often defines a social group...who's a member and who isn't.  Remember that teasing can be about anything.  Kids who feel good about themselves and who work on having a good sense of humor have an easier time than kids who let the teasing "get to them"

Bill Cosby recommends repeating the word "so" in response to teasing.  Drives the teaser crazy!

My advice for you to give your child, is to stop, ignore the remark, take a few deep breaths, don't get mad, and WALK AWAY.  Teasing can hurt, but the trick is to keep one's cool.  This will work on family members as well as outsiders.

Often times, the children may seek an ally in their parents.  "Tattling" is popular in families.  Naturally, parents try and remain neutral, and encourage the children to work out their differences.  However, there are times when parents may need to step in and intervene.  This includes situations that have escalated to physical violence.

Sibling means a brother or sister.  Rivalry means COMPETITION.  Developing a healthy competitive nature is part of growing up. 

Brothers and sisters borrow each others stuff, and don't always return it in good condition.  Younger kids feel like their older brothers and sisters get to do whatever they want.  Older kids think that the youngest in the family is pampered  Does this sound familiar?  Throughout history this type of behavior has been considered normal and typical.  However, in my opinion, too much competition can make for an unhappy home life.

Parental Attention:  Spending equal time with children can lessen rivalry.  You have no idea how important this is!  Children are smart.  Hide your favoritism!

• Read to your kids.  Have them read to you.
• Take hikes or walks
• Go to the beach
• Take a picnic to a park
• Attend your kids sporting events/plays/recitals, etc
• Talk to them
• BE there for them ~ All Ways!

Yes, Take a Deep Breath and Think how best to help your kids be the best they can be.  Give them the self confidence and positive self esteem to grow up happily.

Fairness.  Favoritism is the root of much sibling rivalry. In reality, life is not fair, but you can sure work on teaching your children to attempt to be fair in all their endeavors.

Tie or duct tape them together!  That is meant as a joke, but it would keep them safe and non-fighting.

Listen.  Of all the advice I could ever give you, it would be to truly listen to what your children have to say. Listen to the little and big things in their lives.  Begin early so that the lines of communication will still be open during the teenage, AND adult years. Listen to each one individually....and be silent while they are talking. Stop what you are doing and look at your child!

In another Post, I will talk about Getting Support, Love unconditionally, Practice kindness and Ground rules.

Always caring for kids,

Maureen
http://KidsEdgeOnSelfEsteem

Bullying

Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point. And it's not usually harmful when done in a playful, friendly, and mutual way, and both kids find it funny. But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.

Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and treasured possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or hurt their feelings.

It's important to take bullying seriously and not just brush it off as something that kids have to "tough out." The effects can be serious and affect kids' sense of self-worth and future relationships. In severe cases, bullying has contributed to tragedies, such as school shootings.

Maureen

Bullying is NOT an Option!

Bullying has been in the news a lot lately. This is a very serious issue!

When teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line and needs to stop! It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking, to extorting money and treasured possessions. Shunning and spreading rumors are forms of bullying.

The effects can be serious and have even led to tragedies, such as school shootings and suicides.

Teach your kids the following:

* Do not become angry.
* Walk away and ignore the bully
* Do NOT get physical
* Talk about it....teacher, parent, friend
* Practice feeling good about yourself
* Gain confidence and take charge of YOUR life
* Find some true friends and confide in them
* Exercise to feel strong and powerful

Always caring for kids,

Maureen Amberg
http://MEAOnlineEdge.blogspot.com

P.S. If you want more information on this subject, let me know! Please!