How Grandparents Can Help Build Self Esteem

by Maureen Amberg

Raising healthy and happy children is not always the sole responsibility of the parents. Many grandparents also play an active role in raising the child, and they can help to build the self-esteem of a child from a very young age. When they do this, they not only help them to be able to get through their difficult younger years, they assist them in growing to be healthy and productive adults as well. Here are some ways for you to instill confidence in your grandchildren.

Grandparents are in a position that, in many cases, lends itself much more to this ability than the parents. The reason why that is the case, is because many young grandchildren see their grandparents as being knowledgeable and they generally provide a comfortable place for them. The parents, although well-meaning in many cases, may be busier with the day-to-day activities that are necessary for raising a family. They are seen more in an authoritative way by the children, which is not necessarily a bad thing. By promoting the help of the grandparents and working together with them, the combination can really be one that is beneficial to everyone involved.

One of the things that grandparents can do is to make sure that they always provide a comfortable environment for the children. This is not only true of the physical environment that is being provided, it is also true of the mental environment that is available. Grandparents are in a unique position in this way, and they generally have additional time that is available to provide this for the growing child. When the child comes to understand that they have this safe place available to them, they will often gravitate towards it in order to feel comfortable with themselves.

If there is one thing that every child needs, it is sincere praise. This is also something that can be given to the child from the grandparents. It is important to make sure that you are balanced in this regard, as children are often able to see through any phony praise that may be given to them. Be supportive, and be there for them whenever something important is happening in their life and they will respect you for it.

Finally, make sure that you get to know your grandchildren as individuals and make sure that they know you in much the same way. Grandparents are often in a unique position where they are able to talk about past experiences and most grandchildren readily will listen. You can guide them through various trials that they may be going through by giving them your experiences and how you handled them when you were younger. This not only will assist them in getting through it, it will help to build an even stronger bond between the two of you.

Although times have changed since we were younger, human nature has really remained the same in many regards. Allow your grandchildren to grow on your experiences and always provide them with the comfortable place that they need. In doing so, you will see them grow to be happy adults.
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Helping Your Child to Deal with a Bully

by Maureen Amberg

One of the more difficult problems that your younger (or older) child may be going through, especially at school, is problems with a bully.  As a matter of fact, this is something that if it is not addressed and corrected, may follow your child around for the rest of his life.  The difficulty is, most parents do not feel equipped to be able to handle this situation and it certainly is something that needs to be dealt with gingerly.

Perhaps the most important thing is for you to be able to identify the signs that your child has a bully.  Depending on the type of bullying that is taking place, this can vary from physical evidence to psychological issues, such as frequently going to the nurses office or perhaps wanting to stay home from school regularly.  It may take a little bit of gentle prodding in order for you to find out whether a bully is involved or not, but there are also times when  the child will outright tell you that there is an issue.

You must convince your child, immediately upon finding out that they have a bully that they are not the one who is at fault.  Along with that, you're going to want to make sure that you speak consolingly to the child and that you don't react out of anger, which you will no doubt be feeling.  Make sure that the child's boundaries are also respected, as they are probably right that the bullying will get worse if the bully finds out that someone else knows what is going on.

There are a number of things that can be done in order to stop bullying, or to reduce it. Most of the time, it is beneficial if you speak to the parents of the bully, but you may want to do so in a proper setting, where an official can mediate.  You should also speak to the teach or counselor about the issue, but do so privately in order to respect your child's wishes.  Although it may take some time, and calm patience, handling it in this manner will generally yield better results than going aggressively at the issue.

When Teasing Becomes Bullying

This is a serious matter.  Watch carefully what is going on in your
kids lives!

Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point.
And it's not usually harmful when done in a playful, friendly, and
mutual way, and both kids find it funny.  But when teasing becomes
hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line into bullying
and needs to stop.

Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or
psychological ways.  It can range from hitting, shoving,
name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and treasured
possessions.  Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading
rumors about them.  Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages,
social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or
hurt their feelings.

It's important to take bullying seriously and not just brush it off
as something that kids have to "tough out".  The effects can be
serious and affect kids' sense of self-worth and future
relationships.  In severe cases, bullying has contributed to
tragedies, such as school shootings.

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Always Caring for Kids,

Maureen Amberg
Http://MEAOnLineEdge.blogspot.com

Great Book to Raise Your Kids

1.  How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
    by Elaine Mazlish
2.  The Magic Years:  Understanding and Handling the Problems of
    Early Childhood
    by Selma H. Fraiberg
3.  Take Back Your Kids:  Confident Parenting in Turbulent Times
    by William J. Doherty
4.  Your Baby and Dhild:  From Birth to Age Five
    by Penelope Leach
5.  The Irreducible Needs of Children:  What Every Child Must Have
    to Grow, Learn, and Flourish
    by T. Berry Brazelton

Always Caring for Kids,

Maureen Amberg
http://www.MEAOnLineEdge.blogspot.com

P.S.  You can check on Amazon or your favorite book store for these
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Protect Your Kids From Online Ostracism

by Maureen Amberg

 

As if you didn't have enough to be concerned about, along comes Online Ostracism!  I actually believe that children who are subjected to the effects of "OO" tend to have lower levels of self-esteem .  By the way, ostracism means "purposefully ignoring others".

 

I have read previously about how cyberbullying influences children, but the studies had stopped short of looking at actual ostracism. The data used for the research was collected by analyzing players of online computer games, who are very likely to exhibit this kind of behavior often.

 

For the purpose of the investigation, the researchers looked at how adults, children and teens handled being ostracized.  The scientists wanted to catch a glimpse of how these feelings differ among age groups, and what consequences the behavior of others triggered in the test group.  The participants were all playing computer games at the time of the study. 

 

Online ostracism affects all age groups by threatening their basic needs for self-esteem, sense of belonging, sense of meaning and sense of control.  It also lowered their mood, showing that social exclusion online is very powerful.  The test group consisted of 41 children between eight and nine, 79 teens between the ages of 12 and 14, as well as 46 adults that were twenty years old.

 

Adults might be skilled at finding a relationship in which to be included after having been ostracized, but it could be a bigger challenge for children.  This suggests that parents and schools need to be vigilant in case children in their care are experiencing sustained ostracism.

 

Who knew? 

 

Maureen Amberg is an author, entrepreneur and children’s advocate for MEA Online Edge Inc., with emphasis on the self esteem and positive inner confidence of children; including teenagers.  Caring for Kids is my current life focus.  I strive to be kind, tranquil, serene, and compassionate.  Hopefully, this translates into peaceful, calm and helpful.