Helping a Child to Feel Loved in a Divided Home

by Maureen Amberg

Even though none of us ever plan on raising a child on our own when we start out in a relationship, there are times when it is going to occur.  This can be especially difficult on the child and particularly when they are a little older when the breakup occurs.  It is important for you to make sure that you handle the situation properly.  Somehow, you must find the right way to build up their confidence and assist them in overcoming the difficulties they are sure to encounter.  This may require professional counseling.

Perhaps one of the most difficult problems that you may come up against, is that the child may blame themselves for the problems that happened.  Even though this may seem completely irrational, when we look at it through a child's eyes, we can easily see how they could think that.  YOU must convince them beyond a shadow of a doubt that they had nothing to do with the family breakup.  This is often the first step in healing and assisting them in rebuilding their self confidence again.

Along with convincing them of the fact that they are not responsible for the situation, you are also going to have to reassure them of your never ending love as well. Take the time to spend special moments with your childs, and make sure that you do not allow the pressures of life to crowd out this all important task.  It is not always going to be necessary for you to take extraordinary amounts of time in this regard, but allowing your child enough time, now, to understand that they are still an immensely important part in your life can assist them greatly.

Not only will this help them now, but it will also help them throughout their entire life.  This is a life altering experience for your child.

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Always caring for kids,
Maureen